No one knows when he became gold.
His hair is gold.
His eyebrows are gold.
His eyelashes are gold.
His sideburns and even his freshly shaved beard are gold.
Every hair on his body is gold.
Only his skin, strangely enough, is human skin.
Up close, you can see tiny specks of shimmer scattered here and there, catching the light just enough to sparkle.
He considers all of this perfectly normal.
Whenever someone asks, his answer is always the same.
“99.99%.”
He never explains what exactly is 99.99%.
He firmly believes that he is a very expensive human being.
So, from time to time, he goes around asking people for money.
About 40 million won.
Interest-free.
No collateral.
He doesn't think this is an unreasonable request.
If anything, he thinks the strange ones are the people who refuse to lend him the money.
One day, he walked into a neighborhood gold shop.
He wanted to know how much he was worth.
He even took a selfie in front of the mirror.
The goldsmith examined his body for quite some time before writing up an appraisal.
38,000 won.
He said nothing.
His expression simply hardened a little.
Then he noticed a small line written at the bottom of the appraisal:
NOT PURE GOLD.
After that day, he stopped visiting gold shops very often.
He still believes he is quite an expensive person, though.
He likes expensive things.
Or, more precisely, he likes things that look expensive.
He also likes discounts.
He likes free things even more.
He is extremely proud of his appearance, and whenever he takes a photo, he searches for the angle that makes him look the most handsome.
Strangely, however, he has very little interest in actual luxury brands.
He uses a cheap phone case
while believing that his body is worth tens of millions of won.
His greatest strength is his confidence.
His greatest weakness is also his confidence.
And he doesn't know the difference between the two.
GOLD PEEpin
Visually transcendent.
Spiritually materialistic.
His entire body is gold,
but his dignity is not.
His body is worth gold,
but he has no class.
And he still believes
that he is a remarkably sophisticated human being.
